In this series Poppy Noor discusses an issue concerning how we can build happy, well-run communities. But what do you think? Send us your thoughts and responses
I recently read in your paper about some of the racial bias that people in Britain experience and I found it quite shocking. It is something I have heard a lot about, but have not experienced myself, and I didn’t know that ethnic minorities still find themselves being removed from bars or restaurants for no reason. It has made me start to wonder how to respond if I see this behaviour in public. How can you support people? If I witnessed a person experiencing racism, I would want to help but wouldn’t want to appear like a white knight coming to the rescue because I thought they couldn’t speak for themselves. And what if they wanted to ignore it, so as not to draw attention to themselves or give the aggressor the reaction they wanted? At the same time, I don’t want to just be a bystander who tacitly validates this unacceptable behaviour by not saying anything at all.
You are right to start by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes – sometimes good intentions are not enough, particularly if walking on uncharted ground. The answer very much depends on your relationship to the person in question. Have you thought about asking people – friends, colleagues, acquaintances – about their experiences of these issues? It may feel nerve-racking, but trust yourself. The articles you have read can be a starting point for conversation, and you’ll have to gauge how far you should go with it. Be clear about your own lack of knowledge; it’s fine to say to someone, “I don’t really know how to ask this question” or, “I can’t tell if this is offensive or the sort of thing you necessarily want to talk to me about – I know it’s not your job to educate me.”
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