If we’re not careful nostalgia can lead to perpetual distraction, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. You must find thrill in what you have
Ten years ago, I knew I was with the love of my life for a short but intense year, but chose to end it. He cared for me, but for him it was more casual and there were clear reasons why it couldn’t be long term. I needed to be the one to end that first love, not wait for it to be taken away.
Now I am happily settled with a loving, stable husband with young children, and yet I think of that first love sometimes and huge feelings still bubble up. Being with him transformed me, uncovered the best version of myself: more intelligent, beautiful, creative than I had ever been before – it matched the magic I saw in him. I overcame big obstacles in my life while we were together. Now I’m back to the me I recognise – heavy, cowardly, full of self-loathing.
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