You are right to be cautious, but your mother’s effect on your child will never be the same as it was on you, says Annalisa Barbieri
I am expecting a baby later this year. Despite living in a different country, my mother wants to be as involved as she can. I benefited hugely from my relationship with my grandparents and would love my child to have the same.
However, I have a lot of unresolved issues about the way my mother parented me, and the way she behaves today. She was dismissive of my depression and anxiety when I was growing up, and lacked empathy when I self-harmed. She would bring everything back to her, and was scathing of my attempts to treat myself to anything nice. I don’t know how to help build a positive relationship between my child and my mother, when I am mistrustful and wary of her behaviour.
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