It’s time to resort to undignified demonstrations
It stares at us, open mouthed and empty; a sinister, sparkling plastic throne. Its cleanliness taunts us since, unique among most objects in our flat, it is now our dream to find it filled to the brim with urine.
But no. It’s spotless. Since we got the potty, it has been successfully used just once, and afterwards we cleaned it as if we thought we might end up using it as a soup bowl one day. Our own toilet has never known a shine like it, and it certainly isn’t nearly so snazzily decorated, covered with decals from Paw Patrol, my son’s favourite libertarian nightmare/TV programme. The logic of this escapes me. Not the logic of Paw Patrol itself, you understand, that’s patently clear: it’s simply a nightmarish hellscape of bad animal puns and indifferently recorded vocal performances aimed specifically at teaching children that all emergency services should be privatised.
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