The conflicted man
I was happily married to a woman for many years and find straight sex in a loving relationship deeply satisfying. However, I have been fascinated by penises since my early teens. At that time, images of penises were strictly taboo, which may have contributed to my fascination, but it is a phase I never grew out of.
I would go cottaging while still at school, partly because a quick thrill was so much easier than having to go through the rituals of 1960s courtship and risk rejection. I thought that I would adopt a gay lifestyle when I left home to go to university, but despite regular cottaging and cruising, I never felt fully gay. (Most of the men I’ve encountered while cruising are married to women and feel the same way.)
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