With the wedding some way off, maybe now is the time to talk to your sister honestly, says Annalisa Barbieri
My younger sister has just got engaged, and I’m really happy for her and her partner. The difficulty is, I’m not sure I can go to her wedding, which is still some way off. I love my sister dearly and want to celebrate her big day with her, but we have different fathers – and I can’t stand hers.
Her father, who is my stepdad, was often emotionally – and occasionally physically – abusive to me when I was growing up. He was also frequently bullying, controlling and violent towards my mum, to the extent that he destroyed her confidence and hospitalised her. I believe in forgiveness, but he has never taken responsibility for his behaviour, and always lied about it. My mum died several years ago, and he has gone on to be abusive and violent to other women; he has always denied it or blamed other people for his vile behaviour. As far as I’m aware, my sister doesn’t know the truth; she seems to believe her father’s story, that he’s a victim of a police conspiracy when he is repeatedly arrested. I have made it my policy not to bad-mouth him unless she directly asks why we don’t get on – and she never has.
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