Do not blame yourself for wanting to help your child, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but understand that some problems should be tackled by professionals
My son is 35, lives in a house that I have bought him, drives a car (one of many) that I bought him and I pay all his bills. I even shop for food for him. I’m 55 and started to work part-time after redundancy. I have to dip into my pension pot to support him. He works almost full-time but spends all his money on alcohol and cannabis.
I know that I have been an enabler, but how can I realistically get out of it? I struggle when he pressures me for money. He turns it into it being about anxiety and depression, and that he can’t cope without it. It’s so hard. I’m quite a strong person so it isn’t that he is abusing me financially, but then in a way I suppose he is. His dad has been out of his life since he was 12 and he lives alone. What can I do?
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