There’s no communication, neither of us climax and I’m becoming more and more hesitant about initiating intimacy
My boyfriend and I have been intimate for several months, but the sex is consistently mediocre. Neither of us climax, and often I’m not sure whether I’m giving him pleasure. Our communication about sex is essentially nil; it’s just assumed that it will happen when we’re in bed together. I have attempted to open up conversations a couple of times, but he has never taken the bait. This lack of communication is making me hesitant to initiate intimacy, because I worry about how we’ll decide when to stop, or that we’ll continue through something neither of us are enjoying. How can I change this and encourage communication without making him feel self-conscious?
You know exactly what is wrong, but perhaps you need help forming the words to improve your communication. To avoid sounding critical, always start with a positive affirmation. For example: “I really enjoy being with you, I was just wondering if you could help me to understand exactly how you like it?” Or: “I love being intimate with you, but next time please give me some instructions. I want to learn more about your body.”
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