You may be hurt, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but giving yourself permission to accept your feelings is not the same as permitting yourself to act on them
My husband and I divorced 10 years ago. It wasn’t bitter – he left me for another woman – but, in retrospect, my husband’s behaviour over our 30-year marriage has resulted in me holding no warm feelings in that direction. We’ve had no contact for years and I last saw him at my daughter’s graduation. It was not a happy occasion. Our daughter got engaged at Christmas and I am now faced with being “mother of the bride” and I really don’t want any part of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter, we have a warm relationship and I really want her to have a memorable wedding. For the right reasons. But I’m not sure I can put on a brave face and face my ex, his new partner and all his family. Some people I’ve spoken to say that I’m being selfish. Others understand my reservations. How do I tiptoe through this potential minefield?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sentence do a faster 180 than “it wasn’t bitter – he left me for another woman”. That turned so fast it left smoking rubber on the road.
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