Around 20% of women who freeze their eggs are not sure if they want children – this is what it feels like to be one of them
Last year, a few months after my marriage ended, I froze my eggs. I was 34 with endometriosis and three separate doctors had told me that with an egg reserve as low as mine I’d be unlikely to conceive beyond my mid-30s. Considering I hadn’t been able to get pregnant at 31 after trying for over a year with my ex-husband, I believed them. It was now or never.
I’ve never felt particularly sad about my infertility. I once described it – quietly, drunkenly, to my loving parents – as a get-out-of-jail-free card. I like children, but I don’t believe they are necessary to a meaningful life. Personally, I derive meaning from writing fiction. But there was a loud question in my mind: what if I want children later? What if I fall in love at 38 and am flooded with maternal longing?
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