The male cancer survivor on his struggle to return to lovemaking
We gave ourselves the unaccustomed luxury of several hours of afternoon lovemaking, knowing this might be our last time. This knowledge intensified our closeness and matched the excitement of our first encounters nearly 30 years earlier. The next day, I underwent a radical prostatectomy to treat an aggressive cancer. The procedure removed my prostate; I would no longer have spontaneous erections and my orgasms would be “dry”.
Following the operation, the effect was dramatic; my penis was totally unresponsive. Charities offered useful guidance about how a cancer diagnosis affects a relationship, but were largely silent about sex. So much attention had been given to treating the cancer that I felt frighteningly ignorant about what would be involved in regaining some function; I didn’t even know whether it is possible to have an orgasm without an erection.
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