More and more partners are choosing to commit but not cohabit. What can we learn from them?
Living apart together (LAT) by choice is seen by sociologists as a new facet to an old arrangement. With new research showing that couples are increasingly likely to live in separate homes, what can people who cohabit learn from those who don’t?
The psychotherapist and broadcaster Lucy Beresford is the author of the book Happy Relationships. She thinks successful LAT relationships achieve a balance between independence and emotional commitment. “It allows for something called individuation,” she says. Some people might like a “calm space to go to, or a little meditation room” – a more extreme version of the garden shed bolt hole. But presumably some have more mundane wishes, such as a space where lids are replaced on bottles and jars, and the toilet flushed. Either way, living apart together “gives you breathing space”, she says.
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