When you’ve chosen the wrong person, sometimes other people can help you see it. But honesty rarely works, says Eleanor Gordon-Smith
I don’t like my friend’s boyfriend. He’s been quite rude and makes no effort. From his behaviour, it seems he favours an “alpha male” position and doesn’t like to be contradicted, even in a very trivial way. Is it awful if I can’t stand my best and oldest friend’s partner? I’m sure he adores her but I fear she deserves better. Can I express something along these lines or do I risk putting her in a difficult situation? Is it imperative we try to get along with our friends’ partners?
I, like you, have heard dozens of versions of the story that begins with “she chose the wrong man” and ends in tears. If we’re honest with ourselves we might even have been the protagonist in a few. It puts the truth to Sartre’s old remark that hell is other people. Hell is also, and especially, the people we put up with because they love the people we love.
Continue reading...from Lifestyle | The Guardian https://ift.tt/2NaAjvs