I am in a near-sexless marriage but this is making me feel like a lovesick teenager. How can I channel these thoughts into something positive?
I am a woman in my early 40s and have been married for almost 20 years. Over the past few years we have rarely had sex. This hasn’t really bothered me – I’d decided I had turned asexual. We had problems conceiving, which was a bit of a passion killer, but did eventually have a baby eight years ago (also a bit of a passion killer!). Our relationship isn’t great in other ways, as we are impatient and irritable with each other. I have long wondered if we will not stay together once our son is older, but so far, so ordinary.
A month ago I started having sexual fantasies about a man I say hello to on the school run. I feel like a lovesick teenager in that I can’t stop thinking about him, to the extent that I can’t sleep at night. It is almost like a switch has been turned back on as I haven’t had such thoughts for years and now I feel consumed by them. I recently initiated sex with my husband but it was perfunctory and unsatisfying. I have no intention of pursuing the school dad – who I barely know – as I assume he is just a representation of desire. But I feel guilty that I am thinking about him, as he is married with young children, and also confused that I am having such thoughts at all. Is it normal to suddenly feel desire again – and for an almost stranger – after so long of being not bothered? I don’t know how to stop the thoughts or channel them into something more positive.
Continue reading...from Lifestyle | The Guardian http://bit.ly/2HgQOUS