You want to protect your children, but they are adults. Don’t put yourself at the centre of conflict, says Annalisa Barbieri
I separated from my husband 16 years ago. We have two daughters. He went on to marry an aggressive, abusive narcissist who had a hand in rearing our children. She was, by turns, demanding, vicious and loving with them. I distanced myself but encouraged them to build a strong relationship with their father, which they did.
One of my daughters recently married, and my ex’s wife almost destroyed the wedding. She got extremely drunk, heckled the speakers and, when my daughter’s father was due to give his speech, she took the microphone, making an appalling speech that left the guests gasping in horror. She spoke disparagingly about the couple, me and herself, swearing throughout. We thought she was having a breakdown in public. The charm offensive began the next day with generic apologetic texts and, a week later, expressions of how upset she was by her behaviour. The girls are being bullied into forgiving her.
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